Blonde Moments · current events · dreaming · Just Another Personality

2nd Law Of Thermodynamics

Yesterday was National Women’s Day.  I don’t know much about it except that it was yesterday.  If I was to create a national day, it wouldn’t be during the God-forsaken month of March.  I think that whoever created National Women’s Day should have picked a month that wasn’t so temperamental, that didn’t change its mind at a drop of the hat.  One day its 27 degrees, 8 hrs later its 60.  One moment its all happy go lucky, fun in the sun – 3 minutes later its hailing and a tornado just touched ground in Wrightsville.  You think that you’re safe, you can bring up the deck table and chairs from the basement and place them in their rightful spot outside.  You can let the cat out of the house.  You can even open up the windows!  But then it all changes, and the cat looks at you like you just tried to kill her and all your family gets hit with sickness.  March is just a tease.  What is National Women’s Day doing in such a month? 

I like the idea of celebrating the strengths, talents, and character of people.  We need this kind of positivity.  Life is hard, a struMe Looking At Ethanggle at times.  My hubby and I are parents of teens now – its hard to believe we’re that old.  But then again, my body has been trying to make that clear.  I’ve been finding wrinkles – I think we call them “crows feet”,   right? – at the corners of my eyes.  I didn’t expect wrinkles before 50.  This was a bit of a blow to the ego. Not because I’m ashamed of my wrinkles, but because I’m surprised that I’m surprised by them.  My hearing is worsening.  Seems like everyone around me mumbles which is a new pet peeve of mine, and I don’t really need any more pet peeves but I can’t help feeling disrespected from mumbling people.  Speak up and annunciate! Good grief.  Dana has found grey hair on my head.  Its also doing this weird thing – like mysteriously shortening itself.  I swear I better not be balding.  No one wants to see that.  And while the hair on my head is breaking and becoming shorter and even disappearing, I’m forced to keep an eye on my nostril (the left one, due to my blind spot, I can’t see the right nostril. God only knows what’s happening on that side).  Are the nose hairs creeping their way out towards daylight?  I’ve even had a very bad dream about this.  I can’t write about it yet.  My skin is losing it’s turgor while its pores are enlarging.  My eyebrows have bare areas.  I’m getting age spots (my dermatologist, who is a decade younger, calls them “wisdom” spots – that doesn’t make me feel better, but thank you for trying I’ll give you a C for caring).  My eye doctor tells me that now that I’m close to 40, I should expect to start losing my close vision, in which case I’ll need to consider bifocals.  The last time I had bifocals, I was in 8th grade and I really don’t want to repeat that look.  Besides, I get sea sick real easy now. I have an amsler grid on my fridge.  Ya’ll probably don’t know what that is unless you’re over 60.  The geriatrics and I compare our personal sized circles on our amslers while in the retinal specialist waiting room.  “Geez Gerry, how can you still drive with that large a spot?”  I ask man seated to my left.  “I don’t, my wife drives.”  I look over at his wife who can’t be over 4’8” and has a walker in front of her with a sign on it that says; Drive.  {{okay, time out, that last part was pure fiction – we don’t take our grids to the retinal specialist}}.  My family doctor says I can’t get the shingles vaccination, despite already having been afflicted by it, because I’m too young.  I’d like to beg her pardon. Did she see my wisdom spots?  And I’d like for her to give me the dementia test because I just can’t seem to remember stuff.  I’ve been making the stupidest mistakes – more so than usual.  I won’t give specifics because its just too embarrassing but something is wrong up there. 

All this.  And I’m not yet 40.  But bring it.  Bring it.  Because though my body has been going from an organized state to a disorganized state, I feel that things are getting better too.  I keep learning.  I’m learning about my strengths, my weaknesses (which are good to know and guess what?  I’m becoming more comfortable with them than I ever have been before), my gifting, my passions.  I’m letting go of what I’m not good at, what I’m not drawn towards (what I used to think I should have been good at or drawn towards).  I’m learning my limitations and becoming more and more unapologetic for them.  I’m saying yes more.  I’m saying no more.  Both with more discernment.  I’m not there yet, I’ve got a ways to go.  Its a long slow process.  But I’m getting there.

Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  ~ Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ; 2 Cor. 4:16

You know you’re getting old when happy hour is a nap. ~ author unknown

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2 thoughts on “2nd Law Of Thermodynamics

  1. AMAZING POST! I will NOT share how many of these things are true for me as well. You’re a million years younger than I am, or so I always think, pretend cousin! And do you need me to have a talk with my actual cousin for telling you about the gray hair? Ha ha. She’s too honest! Anyway, just shut up because you look perpetually 22 and we all secretly are mad at you for it. Not so secret now…

    1. Psshh. Don’t talk to me about age difference – its nothing. And, for your information, I’m looking much older now. Its amazing how fast that happened. That picture doesn’t do me justice – it doesn’t show all the wrinkles and pores and age spots and bald spots. It does, however, show some of my fly away self shortening hairs. I need Dana to give me the truth. I made her promise to tell me when I need to start using Rogaine. Her honesty is the only way I can sleep soundly at night.

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