I have been thinking, lately, that the “peace which surpasses all understanding* ” does not depend on the circumstances surrounding me. At least I really hope not.
Because if it did, if peace depended upon environment, than I am up a creek without a paddle. And guess what? I bet you are too. That’s the world we live in, no matter if you are a stay-at-home mom, a professional of some sort, or a kid living at home.
I used to wish I was my dog, way back when I was a mommy to babies/toddlers. Molly had the life. She didn’t worry about survival. When she was hungry, there was food. She didn’t worry about a crying baby like I did (“this kid is forever screwed, I allowed him to cry for 2 hours!”). Molly the Dog took naps all day, walked around the house, and then ate some food. Not a care in the world. Totally at peace. She knew she would be taken care of. Molly had such confidence in us.
I wish I was more like Molly.
I’m a reactionist. I get fired up when the “shit hits the fan”. We’ve been having computer issues at work. I will not get into how catastrophic this was to our medical office, but let me tell you that I was not at peace. Because of this, we were far behind in our work so we stayed after hours and came in last weekend to get caught up. After finally making up all the work, we discovered that it was all erased after arriving to work on Monday. You should have seen our faces. I think my co-medical assistant would have cried had he not been so shocked.
My phone sends me a Word Of The Day everyday. Monday’s word was very foreshadowing: abysmal. I arrived at a peaceful office at 7:30am Monday morning. By 8:30 all hell broke loose and the temper-tantrum toddler inside me broke free of it’s peaceful restraints and I breathed fire. I felt like we were kicked in the gut. We’ve been to battle and won, and then realized we had to fight it all over again. We didn’t have the energy. Add this to an already stressed environment.
Peace beyond all understanding? Yes sir, sign me up. Where can I get some of that? Perhaps it’s in the x-ray closet at work. Perhaps it’s buried underground with Molly.
I’m a woman of faith. Believe it or not – I do believe in a God. I believe in a God who is in control of everything, who loves us, who wants to give us His peace. You may not agree with me. I understand.
I struggle. I’ll admit it, I do. I struggle. My default setting is to control. Good gravy, I’m not a happy camper when I lose control of my environment. I get tunnel focused. What I need to do is step away. Hug the x-ray machine in the closet. Connect with God. Let Him remind me that He’s got this. He’s got me and we’ll make it through. Instead I fume until I get home and can spew it out to him. But even in that, I drag my feet. I’m still trying to control things on my own terms. Until it’s 12am and I’m no closer to sleep than I was when I went to bed a 9. And then I read His words, repeat them, highlight them. Ask Him to give me His promise.
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take great delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. ~ Zeph. 3:17 NLT (old testament).
He’s telling me that peace is not circumstantial. It’s supernatural. Perfect Peace is Divine.
Good Lord, help me to live into this.