You Know You’re Old When …


… you drink Ensure.

It is strawberry flavored, in case you were wondering.  It tasted nice, if I could get past the smell.   It had a chalk like aroma – except not quite as pleasant.  I kept burping/coughing up the aroma, not the flavor (lasted into this evening).  I’m not sure I can keep up with drinking it – the 6 grams of fat per serving drink.  But I am determined to get healthy without having to change my unhealthy ways.  So tomorrow, I’ll continue to take my midwife’s advise (yes, I see a midwife for my yearly physical), I’ll drink the Ensure in front of all the world to see (I saw that old man eyeing it up with envy this morning.  Yeah, that’s right old man, it’s strawberry.  You only have vanilla?  You poor thing, who does your grocery shopping?) and then drink my grape juice (no, not prune juice you smart-alec).  The unfortunate thing about drinking this stuff is that I’m not hungry afterwards.  I wasn’t even all that hungry when I got home from work this evening. 

For those of you who have yet to experience the taste of Ensure, well, if you have a few decades before getting to the legal drinking age (70-100), I’d just wait.   When I stood in front of the shelves which held all the vitamins and herbs and old people stuff,  I felt just like I did when buying my first bottle of wine a few years ago; embarrassed and guilty.  I almost walked away without picking up a six pack (can you blame me?  A cute guy walked up to the men’s health section – I wanted to tell him I was buying for a “friend”.  Like my grandma.)  I tried to find the chewable vitamin C, but couldn’t find it quick enough – I was by that time turning deep red from embarrassment and could not handle one more ego threatening situation.  One step at a time my friends, one baby step at a time.  Thank goodness I didn’t have to look for Depends at that visit. 

I’m still tasting the aroma – 12 hours later.  Oh goodness.


2 thoughts on “You Know You’re Old When …

  1. Don’t worry, my darling daughter, your day will come with the depends, if the Lord tarries!!! 🙂
    I’m just one step away from the Depends! But don’t drink the whole can if it fills you up — that’s made for people who aren’t eating at all, turkey!!! I trust you aren’t THAT far down the road!! Divide it up and drink half one day and half the next. Don’t forget to shake it!!! 🙂 Ummmmmmm……I bet it’s great!!!!

    1. hmmmm, maybe I will just drink half a can – but then that means half the vitamins and I need all I can get. I’ve noticed that it smells stronger the warmer it gets – it’s best to keep it cold. The taste is actually pretty good.

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